How does acupuncture work?
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I was buying crystals at a crystal shop. This wasn't the first time I had been to Happy Heart, a crystal shop on Piedmont Avenue and spent lots of money, but it was the first time I had a conversation with the owner, George Lee. And he told me how acupuncture works!
This is the most popular question I get from patients. Since I don't have an answer that doesn't involve Chinese Medical Theory, I have said stuff about Qi and meridians and channel theory like, "Wellll Chinese Medicine is an ancient medicine, and we (western medicine) are just starting to understand some of the things that Chinese Medicine has known." (We just discovered a new organ that has been called the San Jiao in Chinese for 3000 thousand years, nbd.)
George asked me if I know why we use metal needles in acupuncture, not bone, or a different material. He said, to make the connection. This is the simplified answer to all of the convoluted ways I have attempted to explain to people before. He simplified one of the adages in Chinese we learn in acupuncture school from the classical text, Huang Di Nei Jing - The Yellow Emperor's Inner Classic, "Bu tong ze tong, tong ze bu tong (不通這痛,痛則不通)" translates to “If there is no free flow, there is pain; if there is free flow, there is no pain.” The revelation to me is that connection is what creates the flow, not just the acupuncture needle making the connection in the meridian to support flow of qi, but the connection of our hearts when you tell me about the things that have been occuring in your life around the thing we are working on in your treatments. We are restoring the free flow in the body and the heart, and the mind, and the spirit, to eliminate pain.
Please use this opportunity to make a heart connection in your life, calling a loved one you haven't talked to in a while, smile at your neighbor, being your authentic self, allowing for vulnerability in yourself and others, being present, creating and respecting boundaries, and the most important one for me personally, asking for support!
Why is it so hard to ask for help?
Short answer, because of our childhood patterning. Like many of you, I have been practicing decolonizing myself. I have a somatic group I am a part of, I do dreamwork, I actively seek to be with my feelings, I strive to be mindful in my relationships, to myself, in partnership with my wife, with my friends, and family,
In my somatic group last month I had a profound experience, rather than the collapse of grief that sends me into an isolated tail spin into the pit of despair, instead I was able to access an sense of capacity and expansiveness in my body! This realization helped me see the pattern of being sent to my room has created a pattern of collapse and shutdown rather than the true huge energy signature that I am, even in grief!
Rather than isolation, I am practicing the opposite, to ask for support. Real talk, it is HARD. And I feel like I'm always in a state of practising, aka making mistakes, trying again, failing, doing it again, etc. There are so many pieces of why asking for help is difficult, from fear that we will be rejected and our needs won't' be met, to being disappointed that someone might not show up for us, or being afraid that it reveals a weakness in us, or that we are burdening others.
But there is a gift we give when we ask for help. You have received it when you helped someone, a stranger or a loved one. It feels good! So let your loved ones have that same gift of feeling good to support you! And rather than anticipating that they can't help, you give them the opportunity to rise to the occasion, or tell you honestly if they don't have capacity. We also are creating an opportunity for more authenticity, and welcoming a truthful answer of what our loved ones are capable of giving at this time. It all sounds so scary, I know. But this is really good practice. You may not be in crisis right now, but if you ever, are asking for help can be a barrier so why not try it now?
Honestly, this is what I suggest to most patients when they are struggling. Are you getting support?
Give yourself that gift too.